Running behind life

it seems that no matter what i do, life just moves on. If i try to make it stop or halt in one way, it just eventually hits me full speed. It's like trying to hold water in your hands. you cant do it.
Sometimes i wonder on how i can make a dent in society, if maybe i could help others; i don't know. people say that I'm mature for my age. but in reality i know i have a lot to learn. but my question is why cant i take the knowledge i have now and put it to some use. maybe i can help someone change something. or maybe i am just being naive. again i am smart but i have a lot to learn. so i think that i will just take everyday as a blessing and once my chance comes of making a difference. I'll seize it. but until then, I'm just an eighteen year old girl, trying to survive in the dismal world.

Victory is bitter sweet

we won, hurray...

But there was ALOT of drama at the meet, thats for sure.. Why are girls so petty... i certaintly hope that I dont have a daughter like that...

AHHH!

haha

well

anyways

TIMES:

4X50: 33.07

200:2:24!! (best)

100 fly:1:16

4X100:1:05

1st League Meet...@ Montclair (eww)

Okay so my first league meet is today, against montclair, at montclair
I'm really excited, but theres only one problem there pool is 3 feet deep, Im not joking.

When you dive in, you either flop, or you scrap your face off,

Im still really siked. we should dominate!

so yay!

I'll be swimming:
4x50 medley relay
200 free
100 fly
4x100 free relay.

Ill post up my times when i get them!
wish me luck!

Boys are so Overated

THe title speaks for its self boys are overated...

wise woman aka mom once said that its a good thing we have all these chemicals pumping through our brain telling us that boys are cute, in their own disgusting ways!

i mean really why do boys eat dirt! or worms or frogs!! ewww

but!

how is it that everything can practically fall apart for a guy??

how can we lose our senses and be drunk on love, call it whatever you want, i just dont get it.

i was a reasonable person, but i was willing to rationalize and be stupid, all for a guy.

man. STUPID CHEMICALS!! haha

i still dont get it...

oh well

Book of Mormon

Well, I've had a rough couple of weeks....

AND


I've been reading my Book of Mormon, I have notice how I am able to handle things way more easily I love it, who would have thought that that would be the case...


Its an amazing book


I'm in 2 nephi 25!!!

YAY

every turn is a wrong one...

Have you ever felt that like ever choice is wrong?

Like you cant do anything to make it right? well thats how i feel.

Every time i try to fix something i just seem to make it worse. nothings going right and im now making the right choices but they dont seem to have any affect on those who told me i was screwing up. so if im making wrong choices and i try to fix them by making right choices why do you not see me??

but then it doesnt really matter when those who were telling you wont even talk to you.

wont even look at you, and they even said that you cant do it alone... then how come i feel like their making me do it all by myself??

I didnt turn for their help in the begining and ya that made things worse, but now im trying to fix it, doesnt that amount to something? i at least thought it would. It hurts to be snubbed by those who are so important to you and it hurts alot when your trying to make an important decision, one thats very hard and breaks your heart.


and its the choice that they want you to make.. man just writing this is bringing me to tears,

i just feel that nothing i do is right and that im all alone... just like before...

i make mistakes and im sorry, but you were always there to help me up.. and now when i need you most, your not. i dont know whether your bitter angry or hurt, but ive made my choice and it sucks.. and i just hoped that they would be there to help me through it.

just like you said you would. But i guess that ive screwed up to bad to fix it.




but you cant even talk to me. Even when im running over with things to tell you.. it just feels that a cold shoulder is all i have to talk to... not a warm loving heart.

I might be very off base... but thats how i feel, and i cant change it.

Injury.... PSH what injury!??

Okay so yesterday at swim practice we were being timed for our events that we wanted to swim.

Before my injury i was the schools best butterflyer. I was going to CIF this year.


But then i broke my collarbone... i couldnt play water polo and i was out of the water for a very long time. so i wasnt building my endurance in the pool... plus i missed playing waterpolo and swimming.. ask my mom i was a very grumpy girl.


But my doctor kept refusing to let me swim, even though i was with out my sling by the 3rd week, i know it was by God that i healed as well and as quickly as i did.

He was afraid i was going to fall on the pool deck and rebreak my collarbone... HEY i know im a klutz... but jeez thats a little insulting.

So anyway i got timed for the 100 fly yesterday and i was swimming by myself. no one else in the pool to egg me on. It was all on me. Everyone was cheering people were surrounding the pool... They all wanted me to do well,

My coach made me promise the first sign of pain i would stop lol

i promised

The first 50 i flew... literally.
nothing could touch me i was hauling so fast..

the next 25 i slowed a little, getting my rythm half way through thats when i felt it, the adrelene was done and i felt the burning of my muscles the slowness of my pull and kick

the last 25 was torture... i had never been so tired. but i finished. and when i hit the wall, my coach had the look of dis belief on his face, and a BIG o' grin came on. It was the look of hope and WE ARE GOING TO TAKE LEAGUE and he said ty: 1:18....

I screamed with joy and sank in the water... needless to say i had exceeded my expectation.


See, i was swimming better than my 1st race last season... SO CIF here i COME!!!!!

only 8 seconds to be dropped... and im golden!